10/01: This is Halloween!

I love Halloween.
I thought this month of blogs could be
along the lines of the creepy, scary,
and mysterious.



So prepare yourselves!
Ghost stories!
Exorcisms!
Swell costume or decorating ideas!!!
And a count down to my Halloween party!!!
Which I haven't started decorating for at all!!
Cool it, exclamation point.

09/30: Devine Recession

09/29: Love.

09/28: Dirty Projector

09:27: Tops

09/26: Cuddling Cuties

09/25: Comfortable in the dark

09/24: Blue Green Purple.

New hair colors...wee!

09/23: Skyline

I love the Minneapolis skyline...

09/22: Sausage Fest!

My uncles from Panama are visiting the states
so I got a chance to go out and have lunch with them.
Steve wanted to check out this sausage place called Kramarczuk's.
Pretty tasty stuff!!
Pictured is my Uncle Mike, Steve his BF took the pic.
L-R: Tony, Me, Dennis, Uncle Mike.

09/21: Bowling!

Team NSP bowling night out!
We got to go bowling and have dinner on the company's dime,
plus we got paid while we were there!!
*yay*
What a good looking bunch :)

09/20: NLRB

Gotta love having to testify in front of your boss
about all your union shenanigans....

09/19: All LOVE No H8

Soon we'll get the chance to vote down Proposition 8
which intends to ban gay marriage in the state of Minnesota.
Say NO to oppressing this community further,
it's not a matter of 'allowing' them the right to marry-
it's a matter of not treating homosexuals as second-rate citizens.
All love no h8

09/18: Fetch The Warden

Fetch The Warden at Cause.

And a little graffiti Tony did for me in the bathroom
I love him :)
Hearts drawn by boys are the cutest things ever!

09/17: Flip Book Film Festival

The first shipment of 35mm slides has arrived.
The flipbook film festival has begun....

09/16: Friday Night.

Chilling, chilling, minding my business....
Roomie night with Dennis.

09/15: Velcro Rules!!!!!!!!1

09/14: Brrrrrrrr

It was cold at work tonight.
I had to use Dennis's old baby blanket as a shawl.
Photo bonus: The necklace is for my friend :)

09/13: Taco Munchie

Benton and I hung out today
and this is an action shot of us
nomming some tacos that Benton made.
This was the first day of our Tuesday Art dates.
I'm going to call them 'dates' since Benton
is amazing, inspiring, kind, creative and pretty hot
so it's more of an ego boost for me
to say that I get to have a 'date' with him.
(He doesn't know that I call them dates. Ha!)

Thanks for the tacos, Benton!
Mucho Yumminess!!

The other picture is of the beautiful fountain
that is between Benton's apartment and my school.
I love it :)

09/12: New Colors

I have to get my passport on Thursday.
My mom said I couldn't have neon hair in my picture,
since I value my mom's opinion,
I decided to hide my neon hair
by dying the top half brown.
I call it a color compromise
:)

09/11: World's Greatest Pug

This is a screen shot from the movie
'World's Greatest Dad'.
I liked it lots.

09/10: Sheesh, Bob.

This is what I made for lunch at work today.
Nummers!

09/09: Knit it and Quit it

This is my friend and co-worker Ayo.
I taught her how to knit
and this is the second hat she made,
she finished it while
we worked together on Friday.
Good job, Ayo!!

Ayo is from Nigeria,
there are 3 prominent tribes in her town.
She belongs to the Yoruba people.
She taught me some phrases,
so I will pass them onto you.

"How are you?"
-Bawo ni ?
(pronounced 'bow-whoa-knee')

"Fine" (I am fine.)
-Daa Daa
(pronounced 'dah-dah')

"My Friend"
-Ore Mi
(pronounced 'oh-ray-me')

"Good Morning"
-E Kaaro
(pronounced 'eh-car-row')

"Good Bye"
-O dabo
(pronounced 'oh-dah-row')

"I love you"
-Mo nife re -or- mo feran re
(pronounced 'mo knee fey' -or- 'mo-fair-an-re')

"Join me"
-Wa jeun
(pronounced 'wah-jen')

"Good Afternoon"
-E kaa san

"Good Evening"
-E kaa le

"Good Night"
-O daaro

"Where are you?"
-Ibo lo wa?

"Where are you going?"
-Ibo lo n lo?

"My dear friend"
-Ore mi tooto

"I love you so much"
-Mo nife re pupo

09/08: Blokus

If I can't win,
I don't want to play.

Dennis - Yellow
Chapin - Blue
Me - Green
09/08/11

09/07: Bath Time.

09/06: Courage

"What would life be like if we had no
courage to attempt anything?"

Thanks, Benton!

09/05: Happy Snuggly

Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed.
Mostly because of my cuddly smiley kitty.

09/04: Brilliant Beast

Brilliant Beast.
Living room show on 09/03/11.
Fantastic awesomeness abound!

09/03: All Smiles

The pictures I take of happy people
seem to always end up blurry.
But that kind of makes me happy, too.

09/02: Patty Maker

Dennis's patties.
And a shitty frozen
lamb meat puck.
But, ain't he proud either way?




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09/01: New Thang

Er.
Um.
I'm a student now.
So lay off.
I'll get this up and running.
I'm thinking of doing a picture
a day.... It's kind of a cop out.
Here is the first photo.
This is bitchfacecat Kiki.
She's beautiful,
but she's a cunt of a cat.





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08/31: Never Forget

I remember when 9/11 happened.
You know, like the only 9/11 that Americans care about.
I feel kind of hokey about it,
but I thought I'd add my 9/11 memory.
I was getting stoned and watching Animal Planet
while eating a bowl of Lucky Charms.
Suddenly a wild phone call springs on me,
it's my mentally unstable alcoholic boss, Annette, from Claire's
(yes, I worked at Claire's. I pierced ears at the mall....)
She was becoming completely unhinged,
yelling incomprehensible things between sobbing.
Stuff like "We're next!!!"
"It's the end of the world!!!"
And then asking me what she should do about
closing the store and whatnot
since the whole mall was shutting down.
I asked her what was going on, why she was freaking,
which only made her freak out more...
"WHAT?!?!!?! DON'T YOU KNOW?!?!?!?!"
"No, man, I'm watching Animal Planet. It's not even 10am yet, shit."
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! TURN ON THE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I did.
And I became absorbed.
It was like being sucked in by a vector beam of media devastation.
I snapped out of it and went to the mall to close down the store,
no big deal, unless you're insane and drunk on the job like Annette.
I came home and by that time,
my roommate Annie had returned from her job.
I continued to get stoned
and we just zoned out on news coverage about the planes
crashing in the the buildings all day long.
We didn't even notice that our landline phone had rang.
We checked the messages and heard the creepiest ass messages ever.
It was Annie's devotely chirstian parents...
I don't know if devote really even captures
the zeal of their god-love.
Anyway, they live out in the country
and have a small lake on their property.
Their messages were:
"Annie. You need to come home. You need to pray by the lake.
You are not safe in the city. Come home and pray with us."
Their voices were calm and chilling...kid killing chilling.
I grabbed her and told her not to go out there
because it sounded like they were going to drown their children
and then drown themselves due to crazy Christian theories.
You see, Annie was taught
that there are four signs of the end of the world.
1. Fall of a charismatic American leader - JFK
2. Massive death by flooding- Mississippi flooded about 15-20 years ago and fucked shit up
3. The rise of a charismatic middle eastern leader who would gain a lot of followers that would
in the end do his bidding. This man would be considered the anti-christ.
4. An event would happen that would trigger a war of the countries, something so bad
that all the countries would fight and the human race would eventually destroy itself.

Now, it sounds crazy to non-believers.
But Annie was raised to believe this
and even though she thinks its all shit, rationally,
there is still a part deep inside her that has some fear.
Either way,
I wasn't letting her go out to the lake to be drown
by her insane Christian parents.

08/30: Crash!!

I am not really that
good at driving.
It seems that the nicer
a vehicle is,
the faster it is that I crash it.
I have crashed snowmobiles,
4-wheelers, dirt bikes,
rolled my Blazer,
my Jimmy,
and most recently,
got in a head on collision.
I have been in a suburban
when if rolled seven times
down a hill into the ditch.
I wasn't wearing a seatbelt
at the time,
and my friend Lacie said that
when everything stopped,
and when she saw me,
I was laying perfectly poised,
with my hands at my side,
as if I had just calmly
laid myself down.
She thought I was dead.
After that accident,
she was with me when I
launched my dad's
snowmobile off the lee side
of a sink hole that kind of
surprised me.
It was 40 feet wide
and 20 feet deep.
We flew in the air for
about 15 feet
and then came crashing down
on the boulders at the bottom.
The worst accident was the
head on collision
a couple years ago.
I was going about 55-60 mph
when some guy decided to
make a left hand turn
across the highway-
across my lane of traffic.
It's something that still
causes me to lose my breath
when I drive through intersections.
It was a bad, fucked up accident.
If I hadn't been wearing a seatbelt,
or if I had been driving something
smaller than my SUV,
I would have died.
The other vehicle was a large
pick-up truck.

Now I prefer to drive shitty
used cars.
It seems like they last longer,
which I'd helping me last
longer.







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08/29: Mrs. Case

My 2nd grade teacher scared the shit out of me.
She was the meanest lady ever.
She always ate a tomato for lunch,
with salt sprinkled on it.
She usually forgot the salt shaker in her desk,
so she'd send one of her mini minions to go get it.
I remember she asked me to do it once
and I quivered with fear at her request.
I used to have super long hair back then,
and while we were all sitting on the floor,
listening to her read stories to us or whatever,
my friends used to like braiding my hair or playing with it.
One time, while someone was sitting behind me
and braiding my hair,
Mrs. Case said, with contempt and disgust in her voice:
"I can't believe you allow their greasy hands in your hair".
Pretty much ruined it for me.
She also traumatized me from blowing my nose in front of people.
We had a box of kleenex in the classroom,
it was on a low bookcase near the doorway of the room,
I was over there taking care of business,
when she hollered at me.
Apparently I was supposed to face the wall when I blew my nose.
She called me out in front of everyone
and made me feel like a real sicko for blowing my nose.
Now I always have to turn away from others when I blow my nose.
It's something that has stuck.

08/28: My First Job

This one is inspired out of working a double today.
My job sucks and I hate everyone.
Weeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first job was at TJ Maxx.
I worked in the children's department
and also had to do some cashiering and stuff.
When I was going through my register training,
I was put on the register closest to the service desk
so they could run over and bail me out when I needed help.
At TJ Maxx, you have to buy your jewelry at the jewelry counter,
and you have to go to the service desk for returns/exchanges.
A lady was buying a hand towel
and some random cheap ass necklace.
She came to my line and I rang up her towel with no problem,
then for some reason her necklace wouldn't scan.
I called the cashier supervisor over to help me,
who explained to the lady that she had to go to the jewelry counter.
The lady freaked out and yelled at me and then left without either item.
First day awesomeness.

I feel like there is generally an indicator within the first week or two
that your job is going to suck ass for the duration of your employment.
That was my indicator that TJ Maxx would be shitty.
My indicator that working for South Metro Human Services
was when someone put a rock through my windshield after my first week.
That pretty much sums up every experience I've had working here.
Everything is just a rock through my proverbial windshield of life.
Fuck I need I new job.

08/27: AOL

Being that I'm getting Internet
installed at my house today,
I thought it would be good
to bring up my first w counter
with the world wide web.
My family received tons
of those AOL diskettes
in the mail
that promised a few hours
here and there of
Internet browsing.
I whipped through those things
like crazy.
I became totally addicted
to chatting online
and looking at stuff
that I would never be exposed
to otherwise,
living in rural, small town Minnesota.
I remember I got 'hacked'
one night
and someone began
talking to me via pop-up
alert messages,
like the alert messages
your computer sends you.
This person was also able to make the cd tray open and close.
It was absolutely terrifying
and completely mystifying to me.
Then, years later,
I saw the movie Hackers
with Angelina Jolie,
and I totally fell in love with
the idea of this cyber counter culture.
I can still remember
the excitement I felt
when the modem began connecting while logging onto
AOL.
We had dial-up,
of course,
so you would get to hear
the modem chatter and squeal.





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08/26: First Boyfriend

The first time I ever 'dated' Jeff
was in the second grade.
I am not sure how long it lasted,
but one of the girls in my class
told me,
during lunch hour,
that he was only into me
because I was the only girl
in our grade that was starting
to develop breasts already.
I think she was just jealous.
Of my budding boobies
and my cute boyfriend.
We dated again during the summer of the 6th grade.
It was mostly a phone relationship.
We spent hours talking to
each other.
He dumped me after a
couple months because
I was too freaked out
to mess around.



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08/25: Christian Slater

One of my first celebrity crushes
was Christian Slater.
I liked his supporting role in
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
when he played Robin Hood's
illegitimate brother,
then when Untamed Heart
came out,
I was hooked.
I had to see every movie.
I loved him and his
awesome hair.
He had an US Weekly
magazine 4 page article
that featured tons of pics
and personal details
about his life.
I bought two copies,
one to cut up and paste
all over my walls
and one to devour
and memorize every bit
of information that I could.
Christian Slater was a
big Star Trek nerd,
so obviously I had to
get into Star Trek too,
I mean, I HAD to be into
the interests of my
future husband.
I wrote him a 5 page fan letter
and sent it into some
fan club or something.
It had all kinds of crazy lies
in it, all attempting to sound
like someone that would be
his ideal woman
based off all the facts that
I had learned about him
from his US Weekly interview.
I can remember, as a 13 yr old,
writing that I was 28,
was a Star Trek lover,
practiced martial arts,
and had an appetite for adrenaline.
I told him I had recently
broken my leg because
I had jumped out a helicopter,
you know,
to emphasize my sense
of adventure.
I had decent handwriting for
a 13 year old,
but it was clearly the
handwriting of a 13 yr old.
Not a 28 yr old, risk-taking
bombshell babe.
I sent it in
and 6 months later I was
rewarded with an
autographed black and white
headshot of my love,
Christian Slater.
Bonus: through my typing error,
I realize his name is very close
to Christian Slayer.
Kind of awesome.



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'Til Death Do Us Part

This is not a memory.
I'm kind of breaking my own flow of things here.
But I saw a movie called 'The Sea Inside'
and I have some thoughts that I'd like to get down on 'paper'.

In this movie, a man who suffered a spinal injury
is rendered helpless
and forever a quadriplegic without hope of recovery.
He feels that this is not a dignified way to live
and for the remaining 28 years of his life
he only wishes for death.
He does not marry
because he does not feel he can fully love someone
while in his condition.
He has his older brother, sister-in-law, nephew and father
to care for him and help him with his daily needs.
They feed him, bathe him, and change his clothes.
They also change his positioning every 3 hours
so that he does not get bed sores.
In the movie,
someone comments on how much he smiles.
He responds that with all the help that he needs
and receives from his caregivers,
he has found a way to cry through smiling.
He has a woman that professes her love to him
because she gives him a 'reason to continue living'.
He tells her that he wishes, in no way,
to be her reason for going on,
because in doing so,
her love becomes an obligation for him to continue living.
He tells her that if she loves him
she would respect his wishes
and let him die.
He says that the one who truly loves him
will help him in his quest to die.
As a quadriplegic,
this is a task he cannot do himself.

I was thinking to myself
that this is also how I determine quality of life
and dignity in living.
I do not want to age and become a shadow of my vibrancy.
I do not wish to continue living
if I am not of sound mind and body.
Which is not to say that I do not cherish my life,
or that I feel that people that are in dire situations
and cannot complete their daily needs by themselves
live without dignity or have a lesser quality of their lives...
but for me,
I cannot be a vegetable and be happy.
I don't think I would want to be senile.
Who knows, maybe dementia is sort of fun?
But I think I would be sad
if I couldn't remember the names of my children.
Whatever the circumstances,
that is not the point,
the point I wish to get to
is that I hope
that in my vows to my life partner,
that I will marry or spend the rest of my life
with someone that cherishes my life
enough to not see it fade to something
that no longer represents ME.
I hope that my partner will undertake
the difficult decision one day
to let me go.
To not cling to my body
and to embrace the life I have lived thus far.

I am not sure how you ask someone that.
"Before you say 'I do', I need to know you will."

08/24: Bat!

When I was about 5 or 6
we had a bat in our house.
I remember my mom shrieking to us kids
that we needed to run to our rooms and
close our doors tightly behind us.
I went in my room and waited
and shortly my mom came into my room
to tell me what was going on and to keep me company.
As she slipped in my room,
I saw my dad running around the house with a fishing net.
My mind has now kind of filled in some of the gaps
by guessing what my dad was doing
depending on what I know of him now.

I guess, as I've grown up with my parents
and gotten to know them a little more as people,
it is funny to think of the situations they faced
while raising my brother and I.
I mean, it all seems like an imperfect system
that you go into without a clue as to what you are doing.
Can anyone really know what to expect as they raise children?
It seems like a magnificent poker game
and every parent is holding their cards
and trying not to have their children call their bluff
on how scared-shitless they are during the whole gammit.
My parents have done a great job
and I think I am, for the most part,
a well-adjusted young woman.
It just amuses me, is all, I guess.

08/23: Road Rash

My family drove from Minnesota
to Utah to visit my dad's parents
when I was like 6 or so.
We loaded up into the suburban,
my brother and I taking turns to play
in the way back, roomier area of the truck.
I'm not entirely sure how we didn't end up
killing each other in that tight of a space
during the hours and hours of driving.
(We didn't exactly get along as kids)
My dad was driving one night
and ended up falling asleep behind the wheel.
He jerked back awake as the Suburban was going into the ditch,
then kind of sharply corrected his path
which sent my mom sliding down into the foot well on her side,
my brother tumbled off the long bench seat in the middle of the truck,
while I ended up sliding around in the way back of the truck.
Being that I was sleeping on the nylon truck carpet stuff,
I ended up getting some gnarly rug burn/road rash
all up the side of my face.
Yet another family vacation full of embarrassment
due to my facial imperfections.

08/22: Face Chomp

When I was 7, or so,
my family was on vacation
at Cherney's Resort
with our extended family,
grandparents and the like.
My grandparents their dog,
a rat terrier boxer or something,
named 'Misty Blue'
because she had one blue eye and one brown eye.
I had some cereal for breakfast,
but had to take a whiz halfway through.
I left the table,
and when I came back,
Misty Blue was up on the table chowing my cereal.
I went to the table and attempted to swat her away,
when she turned on my and mauled my face.
All for some Cheerios.
Totally a cereal that isn't worth it.

08/21: Dinosaurs

I had my best friend Annie spend the night
once while we were in the third grade.
It was on a Wednesday night,
not sure how we finagled that since it was a school night,
but Wednesdays were the nights that the show 'Dinosaur' came on.
My family and I used to love that show
and we would all watch it together religiously.
I excitedly told my friend that it was on
and that we should go to the living room to watch it.
She told me "I can't, my parents said it's against our religion".

I left her in the room alone
while I went to the next room
and laughed hysterically with my family
and watched 'Dinosaurs' together.

(Tangent: This just dawned on me. She was also the 'Shoppasaurs' shirt wearer. How can your parents buy you a shopping dinosaur sweatshirt and not allow you to watch a hilarious show? Fucking christians. They've always confused me.)

08/20: My Dad's Weird Friends

My Dad's Weird Friends

My dad had a bunch of stoner friends when I was growing up.
One guy was in charge of house sitting
and taking care of stuff while we went on a family vacation.
I was only like 7 or 8,
but I remember coming home from vacation
and finding our fish bowl filled with Cheerios.

08/19: The Day I Lost My Virginity

The Day I Lost My Virginity

It had rained all afternoon,
the playground equipment was soaked.
Once school had let out,
the sun was just beginning to peak it's head around the clouds.
I used to play on the monkey bars and the big toy
before I headed home to the babysitters house,
this day was no exception.
We had one of those Mad Max-esque monkey bar domes
that you could spider-crawl all over
and since it had rained,
it was just a tad treacherous.
I was making my way to the top when I lost my footing.
I tumbled down the side a little
and ended up crotching a bar near the bottom.
It hurt really really bad,
so I ran(limped) to one of the playground supervisors.
My 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Case, was the supervisor that day
and she terrified the shit out of me.
I wasn't able to tell her that it was my crotch that I had hurt,
(I think I was terribly prudish when I was young)
so when I went to her and was crying and in pain,
she asked where I was hurt,
and I pointed to my inner thigh.
She told me to walk it off and go home.
I got to my babysitters and it still hurt
but I can't remember if I told her or not.
That night I told my parents
and my mom took me to the bathroom to check things out.
I was bruised along my crack, butt to front
and had bled a little due to breaking my hymen from the fall.
And that is how I "popped my cherry".
Second grade.
Monkey bars.

08/18: Bad Mother Fucker

Bad Mother Fucker

I remember going to Noah's Ark when I was 11.
The water park had just opened the year before, or so,
and this was my family's first time going.
They invited another family my parents were friends with
that had some girls that were around my brother's and and I age.
The theme park was awesome and I loved it!
I got so sunburnt though.
And I was getting interested in boys,
so my sunburn was totally embarrassing.
We went to a go-kart park that was gigantic
and there were cute boys there.
Didn't fly.
I was lobster red.
And I had a bad perm.
Then we went on the Duck things,
the vehicles that go on land and water.
We had a nice tour through some cool shit.
We went to the Bartlett Robot world of the future
and some house where the "laws of gravity are defied!"
It was a fun vacation.

I remember, while at Noah's Ark,
that everyone stared at my dad's tattoo.
My dad was chilling at the water park
in his trunks and a tank top.
The tank top showed off his bicep tattoo
unintentionally nicely.
He has a tattoo of a hand/butt man
giving you the finger.
He and 5 other buddies of his all gave it to each other
when they were like 16 or so.
Bad ass dudes!
I actually like his tattoo.
I like that it was his little posse's thing.
I'd get it as a commemorative tattoo for my old man
if I ever won the lottery and could afford all the tattoos I want.



This is a picture of my dad on Easter of 2011.
I asked him to flex and give me a bad ass look,
because he was walking around in the Harley Davidson cut off denim shirt
carrying a Miller Genuine Draft.
Bad mother fucker.
That's Easter for ya!

08/17: No Glass on the Stove.

No Glass on the Stove.

Once, after school, I decided to make chocolate pudding.
I grabbed a large enough bowl for all the ingredients
and I measured and mixed everything as I needed.
I had to go to the bathroom,
so I asked my little brother to watch over the pudding
while I took care of my business.
Just as I finished washing my hands,
I heard a loud glass explosion.
I yelled "Jon! What did you do??!!"
And he was just standing there in shock.
I saw the mess of pudding and glass everywhere
and then I saw that we only had about 30 minutes
before our parents got home from work.
Normally feuding siblings became a unified front
of massive cleaning overhaul.
We had everything damn near perfect,
maybe a little glassy lick of chocolate here and there,
but it looked as if nothing had happened.
But, of course, my mom immediately noticed the smell
of chocolate pudding in the air...
and the post-apocalyptic dessert scene in the trash.


That was the day my brother and I learned that
glass bowls cannot be used for cooking on the stove.

08/16: The Witch

When I was in first or second grade,
my friend and I would walk past this old lady's house
while on our way to school.
We always called her a witch
and would spend time walking very slowly past her place
so that we could stare at her witchy house and try to
pick up on some of her witchy ways.
I am sure the only defining characteristic this woman possessed,
as far as being a witch,
was that she was pretty old and lived alone with cats.
My friend and I would dare each other to step foot into her yard,
which really wasn't hard since she lived right along side the road
and didn't have a fence or anything.
I'm not sure why it was so exciting,
but even still if I ever end up in my old neighborhood,
I still point and stare at her old house.
We would come up with fantastic stories
about her turning people into cats
or casting spells of some nature.

Looking back,
it's even more funny,
because there is a chance that I will end up
old, living alone, with many many cats.
Then someday children will dare each other
to run through my yard
and shriek when they see me.
Cat ladies are the new witches.

08/15: Mick Jagger

The first time I ever saw
Mick Jagger was on MTV.
He was doing some sexy video
and was being all sexual
and slithery an his big gross
mouth with his long
pointy tongue yuckiness...
I was like 5
and completely terrified.
He was supposed to be
seducing a lady
but I was 5 and prudent
and could not handle it.
I told my dad
and he said he'd protect me.

Mick Jagger, beware.



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08/14: Mallard

I was in the 5th grade
spelling bee.
I did fairly well and
got kind of far.
But then I got cocky
and decided not to
write a word down
to see how it looked
before I rattled off
the letters to spell it.
The word was 'mallard'
and I spelled it
with only one 'L'
and ended up being
disqualified.
I know I would have
caught that if I had only
written it down first.
Cocky little 11 year old.


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08/13: My First Wheels

Today is my brother's
28th birthday.
So, appropriately,
today will be a memory with him.
But first, my brother.
The young pain in my ass
that was always there to
play games with when I've
exhausted all other options.
The adolescent that grew up
quickly learning life and death
through the passing of a friend.
The boy that joined the marines,
fresh out of high school,
who saw the world and
the capacity of the evils of man.
The man that returned from wars
who has met his stride in life,
graduating this winter,
so much learned in your 28 years.
Your humble, level head has
done you well.
May you have a good birthday,
with many more to follow.
I love you, Jon!!


My First Wheels

At our Rochester house,
my parents had the kind of
stove that had the pull out
drawer underneath that you
can store pots and pans in.
My brother and I would pull
the drawer out
as far as we could
and then empty it out.
We would grab our cat,
Ozzy Osbourne,
and two pizza pans
(to use as steering wheels),
and sit in the drawer
and pretend to drive around.
I'm not sure what
the make or model was,
or if it was a car or truck.

I need a scanner so I can
include some visuals :)


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08/12: Embarrassment

I was 12 or so
when I got chicken pox.
I was covered head to toe
in itchy red spots
that I couldn't keep myself
from scratching into bloody messes.

So my parents decided
to take me camping.
I wasn't feeling bed-ridden sick,
but I felt like a monster
or leper with my pox break out.
It soon circulated the
campground that there was a
little girl with chicken pox.
I actually made my only
friends due to this
because some family
approached my family
because their kids
hadn't had chicken pox yet
and they just as soon have
their kids get sick and over it
before the school year started.
So I played around with
their kids and then the weekend
was over and we all
went our separate ways.



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08/11: The First Time I Ever Met Dennis

Dennis is my boy best friend.
He just passed his oral exam today
and has, in a sense, graduated from his master's program.
So, I thought today would be a good day to nod in his direction.

I was house sitting for my parents for two weeks in August.
As a poor single female,
house sitting is like wining the lotto.
What?
Leave my shitty ass apartment that is in the ghetto
and trade up for a house stocked with food, central air, and cable?
Didn't have to ask me twice.
I set up a Myspace account over the first week
and by the second week I had some dude trolling me.
It was Dennis.
His first email to me was this:
"I like your music section.
So Byron, huh?"
We emailed back and forth and then decided to meet up
in a soccer field one afternoon.
He pulled up in his car,
rolled down the window and said
"ya hungry?"
Then we went to Perkins
and without discussing what we each wanted,
we both ordered the mini chimmis.
Obviously we were fated to be friends for life.

It's strange,
because we really should have met
a million times before we actually met.
In the neighboring town of Rochester,
there was a group of guys that would coordinate shows
with the local bands every Friday.
It was a ritual for me and my friends to pool together our money
and drive into Rochester to go see bands play
at the Pla-Mor, Knights of Columbus or the Social Club.
Dennis used to be in a few bands, back in his younger years,
and used to play atleast once a month at these shindigs.
I've seen his bands play,
been in the same building watching other bands play
with him hundreds of times,
but never met him until that fateful day in the soccer field.

I'm proud of him today,
which isn't a far departure from the joy and pride
I feel everyday from having a dear, true friend like Dennis.
But, today my BFF has completed another huge hurdle
in his academic career.
I'm happy to see him achieve another one of his goals.
He's brilliant.
Good job, old friend.

08/10: "Look what I can do"

I grew up out in the country.
Which meant there was a fuckload of cats everywhere.
We had a cat named Squirt
that constantly was pregnant and having kittens.
I just called her "Squirty Mama" after awhile.

Anyway, my brother and I were probably 9 and 11,
and we were in the garage playing with the new batch of kittens.
They were probably 3-4 weeks old.
My brother said
"Hey, look what I can do"
and I turned to watch him put the cat's head in his mouth.
Nothing bad happened.
Just put the meowing kitten in his mouth.
The funny thing is,
you could still hear it meow in his mouth.
He only had it in there for like 5 seconds.
It was funny.
And weird.
But mostly funny,
especially now when I think about it.

08/09: My First Period

I got my period for the first time
during the 5th grade Christmas Concert for school.
I was in choir.
I was wearing a velvet burgundy dress
with white tights and black shoes.
I knew what it was when I saw it in my underwear later that night.
But I was embarrassed about it for some reason
so I hid it from my mom.
I even lied about it once.
I don't know why.
My mom was super cool about it.
When she approached me she was soft spoken,
welcoming and reassuring.
It wasn't until summertime when I was wearing white shorts
that I couldn't deny the truth any longer....
Oh, being a girl and growing up.

08/08: The First Time I Ever Met Annie

My girl best friend is the most amazing person in the world.
She is lovely in all social situations
and totally lights up every room she enters.
She is the person that everyone wants to be friends with
because she is into all the coolest stuff.
She is super talented and knows how to play tons of instrumets
plus her voice is just beautiful.
She has a cool sense of fashion
and I kind of wish I still lived with her
so we could swap clothes.

All that said,
she was wearing a white sweatshirt
with the logo
"Shopasaurs"
that had a pink dinosaur, loaded with shopping bags
emblazoned on the front.
Her naturally curly hair was puffed to the max
and had a large bow in it.
I think stretch leggings may have completed the outfit.
Understand that this was still pretty fashionable for the times.
Shit, it's probably currently ironically fashionable.
Anyway, it was the third grade,
she was new,
I was new
and I think we may have sort have hung out a little bit.
We really became friends in the 9th grade more so.
Now I'm completely in love with her and all she does.
Fucking Shopasaurus.

08/07: Flowers for Mom

I love my mom.
I loved her when I was a child.
So much so that me and my
childhood friend Nick Winkler
gathered flowers for our mothers
as a sign of our 4 year old appreciation.
We went to the cemetary next to their house
and gathered as many flowers
as our little fists could carry.
We proudly presented them to our mothers,
who's reaction I cannot quite recall,
but I'm sure there was some shock,
amusement and flattery
in our doting gesture.

Our mothers marched us back to the graveyard
and had us replace the flowers the best we could remember.
I don't think they were all that entirely hard on us about it.

The picture is of me and Nick
in our first love scene.


Oh, and blogging every day is hard.
So I'm doing some make-up work right now.
This is not really going as well as I planned.

08/06: Putt and Bang

My maternal grandpa's name was Roger.
I have many great memories of him
being a fun grandpa that let us kids get away with everything.
He ran a post office and general store in the ground level of his home.
Being a kid I thought it was the coolest thing in the world
and we would often play in the store.
He had a lot of difficulties with diabetes
and had one of those chair lift things on the stairs
to help him get up and down the narrow steep passageway,
I used to love riding that thing whenever we visited.

At some point he had crutches,
and at others a cane or something.
When he was playing around with us grandkids,
he would point the crutches or can at us and say
"Putt and Bang"


Right now, thinking of him,
it makes me feel bad not knowing the date that he passed away.
I know it's around Thanksgiving.
There is something about the death of grandparents
that makes me feel more deeply sad for my parents
than it makes me sad for myself.
I put myself in their shoes
and I think about how much it will hurt someday when I lose my parents
and it makes me really sad that they have to experience that pain.
I know my heart will break the day I lose my parents.
I would want someone to know the date of my father's passing.
Sorry mom.
I should know that.
I know how much it would mean to me if I were you.

08/05: The Purple Sweater

My great grandma Dorthy gave me a purple sweater
when I was about 6 or 7 years old.
All my cousins and my brother received toys.
But I got a sweater.
I pitched the biggest tantrum the world has ever seen
and sulked for the remainder of the
family Christmas party.
My grandma thought the color would look nice o me.

I still feel bad for being such a little shit.
Sorry grandma.

08/03: Sleep Walker

I was a sleep walker.

One time when I was 6 or 7

while my family was living in the city at our Rochester house,
I actually sleep-walked right out the front door.
I had unlocked the main door and opened the screen door and walked out.
My parents woke up when they heard the door open
and rushed out to find me taking the last few steps off the stoop.

My mom said they'd usually hear me bumping around downstairs.
My room and my brother's rooms were on the main floor,
my parents had the top floor for their room.
She said they'd wake up after hearing something fall to the ground,
or me bump into something or other,
then one of them would come down and guide me back to bed.
They could tell I was sleep walking because my eyes would be half open.
How fucking creepy is that?
I think if my kid ever does that, I'll lock my bedroom door
because I shudder to think of some zombie-walking, half-open eyed kid
wandering around the house in their sleep.
That is what child-proofing the house is all about.
Round off corners on tables and shit
so when your creepy ass kid starts sleep walking
around in the middle of the night,
you don't have to deal with corralling them back to their room.
Elgh.
Just weirds me out.

08/02: Dad Singing

I can remember only a few times of my dad singing.
And it was only to Ozzy Osbourne songs.
The first time, he was driving me home sick from school,
I think I was maybe 5 or 6 at the time,
when Iron Man came on the radio.
My dad totally sang along to the first few verses...
"Ozzy lost his mind"
"da-da-da-dah-dah-dun-da-dun-dun"
I remember just staring at him in awe.
Who was this man????
I had never heard those noises coming out of his mouth!!!
The other time he sang along Crazy Train.
I can't remember how old I was, I was a teenager, I know that.

I love my freaking dad.

08/01: Birthday

Today is my 30th birthday.
Also the birthday of MTV.
I'm going to kick off this
blog idea I've been holding onto.
A year of 30's.
Each month will have a
different theme
and I will try my damnedest
to choose a topic I can
potentially blog about for
30 freaking days.
Being that this is my birth month,
I feel like doing something
that represents the nostalgic,
existential brooding, reminiscent
side of me that birthdays
always seem to bring out.
So, although this could be
the hardest topic to start with,
I want to do a month of memories.
I'll try to spread it out
enough to last all month.
I'll try to blog each day.
Whew- here we go!

08/01: Memories

Birthday Cakes

My mom used to bake me the most amazing birthday cakes.
She probably still would
if I didn't live
an hour and a half away.
She made me a yummy
chocolate and creme de menthe
cake that was bright green
and dark fudgey brown swirls.
She baked a boxed cake with
store bought frosting-
but tracked down a handful
of New Kids On The Block
pins to decorate the cake with.
She's gotten me Dairy Queen
ice cream cakes
or Rainbow Bright and Barbie cakes or done toppers for
whatever ridiculous thing
I was into.
She always did an amazing job
putting together birthday parties
and picking out great birthday
presents
(of course always giving Dad
partial credit in signing the card)
My birthdays,
for all of my 30 years,
have been spectacular events
because my mom has always
made them so.
Thanks, Mom!

07/18: Poor Neglected Blog

Poor thing.
No one writes on you.
I am going to have a year of 30's.
I am turning 30 on August 1st.
I decided I am going to commit myself
to posting something everyday
for the entire year.
I don't think I'll be able to do it for the whole year
each and every single day
so we'll see how long this thing goes on.
I am going to choose a different topic for each month.
Each month I'll post something that goes along with the theme
for the 30 days of the month.
Year of the 30's,
I'm turning 30,
we have a 30 theme.
I'm thinking I'll do stuff like:
30 days of recipes
30 days of music videos
30 days of bad knock knock jokes
30 days of memories
30 days of daily pictures
30 days of affirmations
Stuff like that.
Lookie there, half a year planned out for us.
So, I'm sorry if nothing happens until then.
I don't want to use up any 'good material'.
Ha!
It's going to be a long year, folks.

07/02: Dum Dum Girls

Dum Dum Girls- He Gets Me High
A California band, this is from their 2011 release, also titled 'He Gets Me High'.
Love it!

07/01: Fleet Foxes

Grown Ocean from Fleet Foxes' 2011 release 'Hopelessness Blues'.







Happy anniversary Tony <3

06/30/11: Arcade Fire

I always post this video everywhere possible.
I love it. I love the elevator part.
So, here is it's unveiling here on this blog.
Arcade Fire, title track from their Neon Bible album, circa 2007.
Also Wake Up is at the end.
It's pretty unbearable to listen to,
but it's a really cool setting.
Please try not to be too bummed about the shitty advertisement.
Totes sorries dudes.





And I'll just throw another Arcade Fire video in for fun
because it's totally awesome.
Matt showed me this, weeeeee!
Wow, again with the ads though. Super sorries dudes.
This is also from Neon Bible.

06.29.11: Deerhunter.

Deerhunter - He Would Have Laughed
From Halcyon Digest, 2010

Thank you, Dennis, for showing me this song.